Eating out – not an option

I was sitting at my computer yesterday afternoon when I heard this loud crashbang coming from outside the garage. I went out the back door to see if the chickens had pecked thru the metal storage shed and were setting off explosives to get into the food containers. No, they were all just standing around looking sooooo innocent. So I went back inside (because it was like 116 degrees outside) and continued with my electronic time wasting exercises.

This morning I was in the process of going to my chiro appt; I grabbed my keys, headed out the door, and hit the button to open the garage door. The garage door started up, but after about a foot and a half it stopped. “Strange” me thinks to meself. So I hit the button several more times to see if it was a fluke. All the way down… up a foot and a half… all the way down…up a foot and a half. Then I noticed the big spring at the top, you know, the one that is about 10 feet long. It is now two springs. One is about 6 feet long and the other it’s shorter cousin. In my brilliance I decided to release the door from the overhead track to get the door opened and get on with my appt. Do I need to tell you the release handle was violently ripped from my hand as the door crashed down? I’m trapped!

The garage door company wanted to know a few things while they consulted their price chart:

  1. Is your water main broken or has your water been shut off by the utility? (If “yes” add $100)
  2. Is your home surrounded by SWAT? (If “yes” put customer on hold and do a credit check.)
  3. On a scale from 1 to10: what food stuffs do you have in your home. (1 being “stale bread crumbs”, 10 being “enough provisions to last a Yukon Winter”)

Psalm 88:8 says: Thou hast put away mine acquaintance far from me; thou hast made me an abomination unto them: I am shut up, and I cannot come forth.


About tnman

I was born, then I was born again.
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