I awarded myself a trip to the chiropractor to get a massage for the successful completion of the Standard Process 21 day detox. Not sure how the body will feel tomorrow, but I had to ask the massager to back it down a notch. When the first thing they do to you is to run their elbow from your lower back to the space between the shoulder and the neck, well I’m sure I looked like one of those felt caterpillars doing the wave. Massager is obviously not the correct term for the person you pay to abuse your flesh. They are sort of like lawyers, in that lawyers get joy from your pockets, and massagers get joy from your sockets.
Still falling short on my caloric requirements. The requirements are set by the MyFitnessPal website, and not by the SP 21 detox instructions. Actually the 21 day instructions are pretty vague. Take all the capsules, drink the shakes and eat twice as many vegetables as you eat fruits. The documentation urges you not to consume too many of the high sugar fruits, and of course there is the water intake requirement that specifies divide your body weight by 2, and that number is the amount of ounces of water you should be drinking on a daily basis. I don’t know at what weight that advice becomes impractical, because for a 200 pounder, that 100 ounces in a day. That’s 12 eight ounce glasses. Since there has been no caffeine in my diet for the last 21 days that doesn’t enter in to the current equation. Because if you take in caffeine you need to consume even more water.(because caffeine is a diuretic; ie makes you go to the bathroom more.) I guess that’s one more rule for the people who take “water pills” and other diuretic medications. I’m not a doctor, but I believe several of the medication prescribed for high blood pressure have such properties. So remember to drink more water so you can go more. I feel like a program stuck in an endless loop.
That reminds me of a mildly amusing story, but only a software programmer would get any amusement out of it. Everyone else you have to spend way too much time explaining it, and in the end you don’t know if they got it or not. Its kind of like the tshirt that says, “There are 10 types of people who understand binary – those who do, and those who don’t”. The kingdom of geek is almost completely devoid of humor that any normal human being would find amusing. The greater part of the geeks humor is based upon the unbelievable things normal humans do with, and to their computers. Let’s face it: analog interface, modem, floppy drive do not for funny stories make, unless someone has mistaken the CD drive as a cup holder.
So, to get back on the subject. I am ready to spread my wings and fly into a new tomorrow. Planning on an omelette. Haven’t decided it I will dare cheese just yet. Eggs, definitely, eggs.